10 Funny Pregnancy Stories That Will Have You Rolling
Pregnancy is one of the most wonderful times of a woman’s life, but it can also be one of the most hilarious. Not only are there new and exciting changes happening in your body, but the hormones can make you susceptible to all sorts of emotions, including laughter!
1. Cravings Gone Awry
One pregnant woman was hit with a serious pancake craving in the middle of the night. She went to the kitchen, mixed together the batter, and eagerly started cooking. However, she forgot one crucial element: frying pans need to have a retainer! The nearly burnt, pancake-coated frying pan was ruined, but at least she got a good laugh out of it.
2. Sudden Outbursts
A teacher’s water broke while she was giving a lecture in front of her class. While waiting for help, she carefully sat down on a desk and proceeded to continue with the lecture – until the pain really hit. She didn’t make it through another sentence before shouting “Dammit I need a hospital!” This prompted a chorus of giggles (and rapid cell phone calls for an ambulance).
3. Karma Strikes Back
A husband claimed to know exactly how to comfort his wife while she was pregnant. “Whenever I massage her back, she’s out like a light. She falls asleep almost immediately.” One day, he was feeling sleepy and asked her for a massage. It wasn’t until she was kneeling behind him, massaging his back, gently instructing, “Relax your neck,” did he finally get it. Pregnancy Karma struck!
4. Bittersweet Relief
Another woman went to the bathroom only to find blood in her underwear. She immediately panicked and rushed to the doctor’s. There, she was told that the ‘blood’ was actually from over-enthusiastic use of a nasal rinse tube. While there was a sigh of relief for no miscarriage, she spent the rest of the day in mild humiliation.
5. Overzealous Planning
One couple decided to go all out when it came to baby preparation – down to building an elaborate crib. Hours passed before they brought it upstairs and realized too late that their stairway was not wide enough for the new monstrosity. Too large to dismantle and too expensive to disassemble, it collected dust by the bottom of the stairs for months as a testament to their overly-zealous planning.
6. Pub-ic Reactions
A woman rushed into a busy restaurant and immediately asked for a table “closest to the brightest light possible!” Her friends tried to figure out what was up but were at a loss. Finally, she pulled out an ultrasound picture and excitedly pointed out the pubic bone – explaining to them all what they were seeing. It was only after looking at the picture did they comprehend why they didn’t speak about pregnancy in public!
7. Adopted by a Clown
A woman went home in the evening and noticed every time she went to the bathroom, there was bloodstaining. Scared out of her mind, she went to emerge, only to be “delighted” and then “embarrassed” by their discovery- red paint from a course held at a local recreational center earlier in the week has “decorated” their toilet bowl.
8. Bathroom Blunders
It was the middle of the night when one pregnant woman sprinted into the bathroom to vomit. Unfortunately, her aim was off, and threw up on the closed lid of the toilet over the rim, rebounding all over the rest of the bathroom… (and leaving her husband permanently grateful that he always slept with the bathroom door tightly shut).
9. Innocent Misunderstandings
One teenager found out that she was pregnant during her first year of high school. Unaware of what to expect or how things worked, she approached her biology teacher to ask the impossible – how to safely abort! The teacher, shocked and saddened that her “enemy” had become pregnant, pulled her aside with no delay, giving her the correct (and uh, factual) information.
10. Picture Imperfect
Last but not least, is the flawlessly perfect birthday shower photo op. Expectant guests smiling, out of what will turn into the pages of Parents magazine, is hacked by a simple runaway, biting at the heel of an excited two-year-old. Despite mom bellowing from the background and offering bribe after bribe, jr.’s bubbling grin and Superman tear-stained cheeks will be what has forever emblazoned in the memory.
Pregnancy brings major changes and can be stressful in many different ways, but it doesn’t have to be all seriousness – laughing at some of our clumsy hijinks can help keep us sane through it all! Everyone has a funny pregnancy story – what’s yours?