The Top 20 Hilarious Jokes of All Time

Introduction:

Everybody loves to laugh and what better way to put a smile on someone’s face than to crack a joke? Humour is a universal language that brings people together and helps them forget about their problems for a while. So, in this article, we have compiled a list of the top 20 most hilarious jokes of all time to tickle your funny bone.

The Funniest Jokes:

1. The Internet Problem:

A tourist in Australia tries to connect to the Internet using his laptop. However, he can’t seem to get a stable connection. Frustrated, he asks an Australian passerby, “Hey mate, have you got the Internet here?” The Aussie looks at him and says, “Nah mate, we still use the bush telegraph.”

2. The Pet Parrot:

One day a man goes to a pet shop and sees a parrot he likes. The shop owner tells him that it is a special parrot as it knows over 20 different jokes. After three days, the man returns the parrot to the shop, complaining that it had not told him a single funny joke. The shop owner apologizes and promises that the parrot will entertain him this time. Upon asking the parrot for a joke, it tersely replies “Can’t you take a joke?”

3. The Doctor and the Lawyer:

What do you call a doctor that has finished last in his class in medical school? You call him a doctor because he still managed to pass. On the other hand, what do you call a lawyer that has finished last in his class in law school? You call him a lawyer.

4. New Year’s Resolution:

I made a new year’s resolution to procrastinate less, but I think I’ll start tomorrow.

5. Lost in Translation:

A Chinese guy walks into a bar in Japan and orders two shots of whiskey. He holds up two fingers and says “Five shots, please.”

6. The Genie and the Atheist:

An atheist finds a genie lamp and rubs it. The genie appears and says “I will grant you three wishes but remember I cannot perform any miracles nor can I make someone believe in me.” To which the atheist responds, “Okay, I want world peace, an endless supply of money, and for you to prove to me that God doesn’t exist.” The genie scratches his head and says, “Gee, aren’t those three things kind of mutually exclusive?”

7. The Definition of Love:

A little girl asks her mother, “Mommy, how do you define love?” Her mother responds, “Love is when a daddy gives a bar of chocolate to his little girl and she keeps half of it for him.”

8. Toddler Telling Time:

Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.

9. Mathematical Party:

Why did the math book go to the party wearing red lipstick? Because it wanted to look logarithmic!

10. The Husband and the Whispering:

A husband and wife are at a cocktail party. The husband, excited about an item in the conversation, raises his voice, saying, “We don’t talk about that enough! It’s great knowing that other people think like that too!” Later, as the couple is driving home, the wife turns to her husband and says, “I know part of that sentence had to be about me, but I’m not sure how worried I should be.”

11. Keyboard Ignorance:

Me: Can I borrow a keyboard?
Aquarium Employee: I’m sorry, we don’t have any pianos.

12. Camping Preparation Joke:

Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have tiny ant-y bodies.

13. Pickup Line:

Excuse me miss, I seem to have misplaced my phone number, could I borrow yours?

14. Beach Type:

What type of beach? Sandy

15. Famous Diet:

The problem with French diet books lies – there are no French words for ‘exercise’ and ‘moderation’.

16. Prime Minister Introduction:

A woman goes to a Job interview for the post of Prime Minister. Interviewer: What is your qualification? Woman: I’m a self-employed professional of carrying chopped wood.”, “Do you not know how stupid that sounds?”, “Is it? Should’ve just said I was prepared to chop wood.

17. Office Training:

New employee: “I thought we had an orientation meeting today?”
Supervisor: “Your assessment was already sufficient, friend, let me show you what a great answer looks like”. *

18. The Panda Mystery:

Why did the panda bring a large can of bamboogurt to the bowling alley? He thought goats came down the alley and went back looking like it.

19. Payment Solution:

“I don’t want to have to pay for something. If they told me that, I’d be heartbroken.”

20. Personality Collection:

A Computer Science major goes on a date wearing a T-shirt with IP printed on it. His date inquires about it, suspecting some lame programming joke, and he replies “I woke up pondering the nature of identity and decided to condense the human *you* to a mere list of four 8-bit integers: your IP address.”