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Study Finds Married People Who Cheat Find It Pleasurable and Don’t Regret It
A recent study challenges widely held notions about infidelity, particularly regarding cheaters’ motivations and experiences. According to the extensive survey, married people who have affairs find them incredibly pleasurable, exhibit no guilt, and believe that cheating did not affect their otherwise healthy marriages. The work is newly published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior.
Survey Conducted with Ashley Madison Users Before and After Affairs
Lead author Dylan Selterman, an associate teaching professor in Johns Hopkins University’s Department of Psychological & Brain Sciences, collaborated with researchers at the University of Western Ontario to survey nearly 2,000 active users of Ashley Madison before and after they had affairs. Researchers conducted the study to gain a better understanding of the psychological experiences of those who engage in extramarital affairs.
The Complicated Picture of Infidelity
The survey found that participants sought affairs because they wanted novel, exciting sexual experiences or sometimes because they lacked a strong commitment to their partners, rather than because of a need for emotional fulfillment. Sexual dissatisfaction was a top-cited motivation to have an affair, with other motivations including the desire for independence and sexual variety. Fundamental problems with the relationship, such as lack of love or anger toward a spouse, were among the least-cited reasons for wanting to cheat.
Despite high levels of love for their partners, about half of the participants reported not being sexually active with them. Nevertheless, having great marriages did not make cheaters any more likely to regret affairs, as participants generally reported their affair to be highly satisfying both sexually and emotionally.
Conclusion: Not All Relationships and Couples Are Monogamous
The study’s lead author, Dylan Selterman, hopes to advance this work by examining how other populations of cheaters compare to the Ashley Madison population. Selterman believes that maintaining monogamy or sexual exclusivity is difficult and that people take monogamy for granted when they’re committed to someone in a marriage. Cheating might be a common part of people’s relationships, but it doesn’t mean everyone’s relationship is doomed.
